


Bite Me

by Deathstrokestea



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-13 11:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2149047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathstrokestea/pseuds/Deathstrokestea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean Kirschtein finds himself in the midst of the end of the world. As zombies roam the USA Jean tries to find himself an easier life in the country but this all turns around when he meets the first survivor hes seen in a while. (Strong Language)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Jean Kirscheteins 3 Easy Rules of a Successful House Raid

**Author's Note:**

> I just started to write this due to lack of wifi when I was on holiday, I haven't really put a lot of thought into it and so it's probably going to be a bit crap. Also mainly posting this here for my friend Jade to read but yeah if you like it let me know.

In order for a successful house raid, I have to follow my three simple rules, I call 'em my three S'. Survey, Sound and Speed. First, survey the house. Check for exits incase of emergencies, easy routes back to the street, stuff like that. Plus, I mean, if theres a trail of blood coming from the back door or a hastily scribed warning about biters, you probably wanna try the next house. 

Next is sound. I like to make a little noise on one of the windows, sometimes open the front door and throw something down the hall. Its easier to take out biters when you know they're there. Basically what I'm saying is you don't wanna be caught up in scavenging and have some biter stumble up behind you because it knew about you before you knew about it. 

Finally speed. This ones pretty self explanatory I'd say, you wanna get in and get out as quick as you fucking can. Enclosed spaces aren't great when you're trying to fend off flesh eating undead. 

And those are Jean Kirschtein's 3 easy rules of a successful house raid. Well, there's no guarantee of success but it's probably what's kept me alive longer than the others. 

Ok so let me go from the start, basically I grew up in Trost, an only child, not many friends; yeah I was /that/ guy. I had a few friends when I started to go to college but they're probably dead now. When I found out everything had turned to shit I was sat on my bed in my student house, scrolling through social media sites when I saw people with weird status' about monsters and crazy people trying to bite each other on the streets. It was probably the lamest way to be informed of the end of the world. 

One of my house mates, Marco, stumbled into my room with blood smeared across his face, his eyes were blood shot, and he was pale as a fucking ghost. He tried to attack me and I managed to lock him in the bathroom without having to put him down. It was... really hard seeing him like that, he was my best friend. My other house mates were out and I haven't seen them since, and as a realist I can only assume they're dead too. I packed my shit, got into my car and drove as far from the main city as possible. 

I met some people, been in a few groups, they told me how it all happened. Apparently the government were studying a deadly virus or something like that without the public knowing, there was some corrupt asshole that I like to call "Patient 0" who took a sample of the virus and managed to infect everyone, including himself, at this parade in Sina. Anyway, some groups didn't work out due to creative differences (assholes, cannibals, racists) and others just gradually shrank until it was me again. It's not been easy, I've had to kill biters and people for one reason or another but I'm still here so that's all that counts. I have enough stories to fill a book the size of "War and Peace" in size 7 font. 

So that summarises the past, currently I'm alone. It's far from easy doing stuff like this alone, but losing people you care about doesn't even come close to it. I'm in Shinganshina, it's pretty far from Trost but it's better, it's like a country side/ village type place. It's not too busy but it has enough houses and stores for supplies. It's been maybe seven months since I left my student house, but it feels like an eternity. 

My plan for the future is to find a secure farm far from towns and cities, maybe grow some crops, get a few animals, just not have to worry about dead people ripping my throat out with their teeth every second of the day. 

So there's a summary of my life so far, and it fucking sucks.


	2. Hey Sawney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit longer but I'm not very good at doing long chapters, so if you don't like that I'm probably not the author for you, sorry!

It wasn't a bad day, it wasn't too hot and there wasn't rain or harsh winds, it was nice. I used my already dirtied hoodie sleeve to wipe the grime from a side mirror on a car just enough so I could see myself.

My undercut was still even, two toned, blonde on the top and brown underneath, however my previously dazzling amber eyes were now outlined with dark circles and bloodshot. My strong and manly jaw hadn't changed though, still making me look like an incredibly tired angel sent from the heavens. I had a couple of cuts and bruises and some scars from fights with people but hey, people always look hotter when they're beaten up and bloody. 

I finished checking myself out and continued to walk down the middle of the abandoned road, it was hauntingly silent, there wasn't a human in sight and the birds weren't there to screech their "songs". Everything just seemed dead and it was still unnerving. After a while you get used to everything smelling like a strange mix of rotting corpses and attics, but I can't say I don't miss the smell of freshly cut grass every now and then. 

Compulsively I ran a "stock" checklist, if you will, in my head. My makeshift longbow, a quiver, 30 wooden arrows, my backpack, knife holster, knife, gun holster, Sig Sauer P229 9mm handgun (I've always like guns so shut up), five magazines of ammunition, 12 cans of food, 5 bottles of water, a roll of duct tape, 3 meters of rope, a first aid kit, a torch, 2 lighters and a Polaroid camera I found with about 10 photos left. I was reasonably prepared but I needed more, hence the previous mention of my 3 tips. 

I came across a nice enough looking house; two stories, a slightly overgrown front lawn covered in a typical baby blue paint. Not a house someone with little money would have, so there's a better chance of finding good supplies. 

I began step one. There was no car in the drive, so it was likely the family left, taking with them some supplies; I'll admit that's a negative but at least if my inferences were correct there'd be less biters in the house. The front of the house was fine, no worrisome blood streaks in the windows or handprints dragged down the front door. I made my way down a little path to the side of the house and round to the backyard and looked at the house. A small deck leading to the back door, which was as fresh and blood free as a typical daisy. All was well and I was ready for step two until my eyes scanned the garden further. 

In the corner, standing amongst the over grown grass I saw a small dog kennel with the words "Sawney" written on the top in black paint. Obviously that wasn't the thing that caught my eye, I wasn't hoping for some new companion or anything, but there was blood around the entrance of the tiny dog house, which was pretty unnerving. 

I sighed and pulled out my knife, I wasn't gonna waste bullets and make noise if I could help it and bent over, picking up a rock. I threw it up in the air and caught it a few times before throwing it over in front of the kennel. After about 10 seconds, a German Shepard, which I was gonna assume was Sawney, reluctantly crept out of the safety of his wooden shack. 

"Hey Saw-" I began until I saw the blood around his mouth, mentally punching my self in the face for not realizing it was probably the dog in the fucking dog house and not a biter. He stared at me for a second, and returned to the safety of the kennel.   
"I err..." I mumbled, unsure of what to do before out came Sawney again, this time with a gift.   
"Oh fuck that's sick..." I said, covering my mouth and nose with the crook of my elbow. He dropped the severed arm on the floor in front of him and began to tear the meat from it, glancing at me every once in a while to check my position. 

I had no idea what to do. Do I kill it? Leave it? Maybe it was friendly? Though that was really fucking unlikely. I began to slowly put the knife back in its holster and reached for my bow, holding it in my hand. He glanced over again but continued to eat the meat despite the change in position. Slowly I began to reach for an arrow from the quiver when he began to growl. And then he began to bark.


	3. Horse Face

I was fucking terrified, more than with the Biters anyway since they were slow as shit. My hand stumbled to get the arrow lined up and steady with the panic of this dumb dog running towards me. 

I knew I wouldn't be able to line the arrow up quick enough, pull it back far enough, aim with enough precision and let go before Sawney reached me and I thought I was dead. 

Bang. Blood poured from the side of its skull as it dropped to the floor. I let out a sigh of disbelief and a relief,  
"Fuck man...". It took me a few seconds to process the fact this probably didn't happen spontaneously and I soon after realized that I was very pissed at what or whoever caused previously mentioned bang. 

I look over to my right and saw the cause of my anger, he was really fucking pretty. He had shaggy, but not unkempt, brown hair that covered his face slightly. His face was also dirty and pale. But his eyes were still a bombastic green that really stood out against his pasty skin. He was wearing a black backpack, a dumb band shirt worn over a long sleeved, black shirt and worn down jeans. He was also holding a gun, duh. 

I don't know why I got angry, I guess I didn't really know what to do. I felt attracted to this trash and it made me mad, he made me mad.  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"  
"Wait what?"  
"Shooting your gun, you idiot! Biters aren't deaf!"  
"What? No 'thank you'? No nothing? I just shot that fucking dog for you, Horse Face!"  
"Oh sorry, thanks for alerting the undead to our location, I was in need of a good jog right now anyway!"   
"Fuck you, Man."   
"Fuck you." I was acting like a kid. But in my defense I wouldn't be able to raid the house anymore so that was annoying. 

We didn't know what to do, we both stood near each other awkwardly for a few seconds before he spoke again.   
"Sorry." He mumbled.   
"It was kinda dumb, but he was gonna mess you up and I haven't seen another survivor for a while." This stopped me for a second because only now had I realized that he too was the only living human id seen for too long.

I let out a sigh and rubbed my eyes with my thumb and forefinger.   
"Don't worry about it. Let's get somewhere safe to talk ok?"   
"I've been in one of these houses for a few days, we can go back there. And er, what's your name?"  
"Jean Kirschetein. You?"  
"Eren Jaeger."


	4. Retribution

We arrived at one of the many houses on the street, and it looked empty. I began to walk to the front door when I was stopped by a harsh grab on my shoulder.   
"Don't walk another step." He warned, pointing to a thin wire stretched out in front of the door. Boobytrap, nice. 

He opened the door and carefully stepped over the wire as I followed close behind. He took me into what was once a pretty nicely decorated living room and sat down the the dust covered couch.   
"Sit down I guess, you need food? I have some blueberries if you want some..." I wasn't gonna pass on free food, but I felt kinda bad taking the small, pitiful amount of berries in his hand.   
"It's fine, they're yours." I replied as I sat down on an old wooden dining chair across from him. 

Once again we sat in an awkward silence for a few moments.   
"So how old are you?" He asked in attempt to lighten the atmosphere.   
"23, how about you?" He looked pretty young, probably about my age too.  
"Yeah same... So you're not... Like... Weird are you?"  
"Huh?"   
"Like... You're not gonna try and kill me or rob me or eat me right?"   
"Gross no. What do I look like a fucking cannibal to you?"  
"That's not what I was trying to say, I'm just trying to look out for myself!"   
"That doesn't mean you can ask people if they're gonna eat you, Dumbass!" I had a feeling we weren't gonna get on fantastically, not like me and Armin did anyway. God I miss that kid. 

I groaned and let out a sigh.   
"Ok I get it, whatever. So you got a story? Like, your story?" I asked him in an attempt to reignite the conversation. He leant back on the couch and scratched the back of his head. Wow, he had really nice arms, his biceps were awesome.

"I guess I should start on the day I found my sister." This threw me off a bit.  
"So basically when I was 8 I killed two guys." That threw me off more and unsettled me slightly. I re positioned myself on my chair to have better access to my gun if necessary.   
"It sounds really bad but yeah. Anyway I was out in the woods with my friend Thomas and we were playing hide and seek. It was my turn to hide and I came across some cabin and thought 'Hey this'll be a great place to hide' and went in. I opened the door to one off the rooms inside slightly and saw this girl all tied to a chair, beaten and bloody with two guys stood around her saying the shittiest things, things an 8 year old shouldn't hear. I didn't know what to do because I wasn't allowed a cell phone yet and I don't think Thomas would be around and so I went into the kitchen and got a knife and I just. Kinda. Stabbed them both." I had no words. This guy was fucking insane.   
"After that my parents adopted her and she became a sister to me. Her names Mikasa."  
"Is she American?"  
"Japanese. So yeah I guess that's the first story, that's what got me a little fucked up, it's fine though I won't stab you or anything." The fact he had to point it out was also a li'l unsettling but I decided to roll with it, he didn't seem like he was going to stab me.   
"Next story is the day it started. Me and Mikasa were with my Mom in the house when we heard a frantic knocking at the door and who else but my alcoholic uncle Hannes was on the other side. Except he was was sober this time. He started to talk about how people outside were eating each other and shit like that but I thought some booze was making him see things I guess. I heard my Mom screaming from upstairs and I ran up with Mikasa and there she was. I can remember every detail." He choked and stopped for a minute, I didn't want to push him, clearly this shit was tough on him. After a few minutes he began to speak again.   
"Anyway I tried to kill the fucker but Mikasa and Hannes pulled me away before I could." He clenched his fists tight and mumbled under his breath,  
"I'm gonna kill every last one of them..."


	5. Perks of a Pansexual

Eren told me about how him and Mikasa got split up and how they're looking for each other, or at least he's looking for her. He showed me a picture and holy shit she was hot. Like not as hot as this gross loser but like a high 9. Perks of a pansexual. 

After exchanging my story with him we sat on our seats talking about things we missed. Hot coffee in the mornings, video games, warm showers. Hell, I even miss college. But we did get into arguments over dumb shit, like which band is the best, which superhero would win in a fight. Shit like that. It was nice. 

I turned to a window and saw a couple biters outside, it was already dark too.  
"Err... Eren?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Look I know you don't know me that well but I haven't had a good sleep in weeks, mind if I just sleep here tonight?" I felt uneasy and douchey asking but it was worth a shot.  
"I'm not a fucking charity, Man. There's plenty of houses on the street, you lazy shit, I want my own."  
"Selfish bastard, it's only the night! You won't even see me! I just wanna sleep somewhere I know is reinforced! What's your problem?!"  
"You can't just come in here and invite yourself for the night! Didn't your Mom teach you manners?"  
"You invited me, Turd!"  
"For fucks sake, whatever! I don't wanna hear a fucking word though and if you snore I'm slitting your throat!" I didn't know if he was serious and that kinda scared me. I think he noticed because he started to calm down a little.  
"I was kidding, I mean if you can put up with me snoring then knock yourself out." I began to loosen up. Sometimes I forget this Asshat has feelings which may include Sympathy.  
"Upstairs and second door on the right. Do not go into the first on the left. I will shoot you." I laughed politely at the joke but he didn't even crack a smile.  
"I'm fucking serious, do not go into that room or I will kill you." My smile faded quickly and I swallowed hard.  
"Got it..."  
"Night, Kirschtein."  
"Sleep well, Jaeger Bombastic." I said as I was walking upstairs. I turned back to see a little smile creep onto his perfect face. Fuck me


	6. You're Fucking Disgusting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren is gross.   
> Jean is a drama queen.

I woke up to the sounds of crashing downstairs. The room was black aside from a small candle in the far corner that subtlety illuminated the door next to it. I grabbed my gun and put my knife into my boot then crept towards the door, turned the handle and pushing it ajar. Noises were still coming from downstairs and a lot of possibilities crossed my mind. Walkers, bandits, raccoons, Eren sleep walking. I began to make my way down the stairs when I heard a voice mumbling. That crosses raccoons off. I could hear it coming from the kitchen and snuck towards the entrance to the room. Quickly I pushed the door open with my foot and aimed my gun at the room. 

On the floor surrounded by empty bottles of some crappy cheap beer was Eren, and he was fucking wasted.   
"Jean! Hey Dude! What's with the gun? Put it down and have a drink!"  
I lowered my gun and put it on the counter next to the door.   
"Eren what are you doing?"  
"J-Jean..." Eren replied as he slowly pulled himself up onto his feet with the aid of the kitchen table.   
"Come and have some of this beer, it's fucking epic."  
"Eren you're pissed, you need to go to sleep."  
"Come to the couch with me, Horse Face." Said Eren followed by him picking up as many beer bottles as he could and walking to the family room. I groaned and followed him, I was really tired, I didn't wanna deal with his drunken ass right now but he was being too loud and annoying before and the last thing I need is biters in the house. 

I sat down next to him on the couch and he passed me a beer.   
"Fuck it." I took off the cap and took a gulp.   
"This tastes like shit."  
"It's great right!?" It wasn't great.   
"You'll love it later I promise." I didn't love it later.   
"Anyway Jean boy, I have to tell you a secret."   
"What?"  
"You'll like it I promise. Close your eyes." I rolled my eyes and closed them. I could feel Eren move closer. Then I could feel him on my lap. Then I could feel his gross beer breath on my lips. Then I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I liked how forward he was being, at this rate I wouldn't even have to tell him I liked him. It was going great except after about 6 seconds I couldn't feel his breath anymore, and nothing had happened for 13 seconds. 

I opened one eye to see a Eren on my lap with his hands covering his mouth. Before I even had time to think about what he was doing he took his hands away from his mouth and puked across my face and down my shirt. Eren seemed to quickly sober up as terror bombarded his eyes. I just sat there, with this super hot brat on my lap and his vomit across my face and torso.   
"Oh my god... Jean I'm so sorry..."  
I lost it. I pushed him off of me and began to yell.   
"How the hell is that a secret? You're fucking disgusting, Jesus Christ!"  
I used a couch cushion to wipe some vomit off of my face.  
"Jean I'm reall-"  
"I told you to put the drinks down and go the fuck to bed but no you had to vomit on me first is that right!"  
"I'm so-"  
"My Mom got me this shirt! It's totally fucked man!" I pulled the shirt off and threw it onto the couch.   
"You shitty little brat I can't believe y-" I looked down at him and my eyes widened.   
"Are you actually staring at my abs right now? What the fuck is wrong with you?!"   
"I wasn't! Look I'm really sorry! I'll clean your shirt with my own water and everything! Please I didn't mean to! Fuck dude, I know I'm gross I'm sorry!" I let out an exasperated sigh.   
"Fine. I want it clean by the time I wake up though. I'm going to bed. Again. Because you woke me up."   
I looked down at him. He looked really pathetic and ashamed but I couldn't be bothered with him right now. I walked upstairs and into the bathroom. 

There was a towel in the bath which I picked up and used to wipe some of his vomit off of my face.  
"Ugh, gross." I looked into the mirror and got as much as I could off.

I walked to my room and grabbed a bottle of water, I poured some into my hand and rubbed it over my face, then dabbed it dry with my hoodie. I was finally ready to go to sleep again when I heard banging downstairs. And moaning. This wasn't Eren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to whoever gave me kudos or bookmarked this, it feels nice since this is kinda just something I'll write and not really think about. So yeah thanks guys c:

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter was pretty short, sorry about that.


End file.
